I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
