hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
