And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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