PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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