I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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