I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
