you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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