Sry I called you an 8
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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