I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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