M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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