...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she told me i tasted like america
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
