i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
