i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just high enough for therapy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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