Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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