How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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