help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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