I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
