Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
