Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
