the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
