Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
