My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
