How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
