i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
