Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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