K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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