brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm like, not good at living.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
