Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
