You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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