Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
