Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
