I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize