Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
