how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
