walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
