Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
