So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
