Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
