Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
