Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
