just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
