WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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