I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
