I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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