don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
