I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
