I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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