Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
