I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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