I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
