I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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