Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
