If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize