I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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