i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
