weddingsv make me drug and hornr
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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