That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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