My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize